Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you didn’t. All you know is that now, you’re just another insignificant speck of existence in this endless dimension we call SINGLE. It’s Day X and you don’t feel like getting out of bed. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, but you find yourself wasting away the first few minutes on Instagram.
Scrolling through his feed.
You think about blocking him, but you don’t. You think about texting him, but you don’t. You think about calling him, but you don’t.
You think you don’t love him, but you still do.
PHASE ONE: MENTAL TRAINING
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
In the post-break-up reality, you haven’t moved on to go out and do what you love. But let me tell you a secret: You choose what people see, what people react to. When you know and own that you deserve to be a beautiful speck of existence in this beautiful dimension we call LIFE, you’d be surprised how people will treat you. Your worth does not depend on you being a package deal, and it’s easy to forget that when all everyone talks about is who’s-dating-who. One thing that you do need more than anyone is a pick-me-up—a reminder to hold your head high.
While part of many post-break up scenarios is the “not caring and letting go” shtick, it’s not exactly the best way to get back on track. We do need time to mourn the loss of a relationship; internalized hurt is not a feeling you want to fester. Pain is all part of an empowering transition to unleash the awesome in you.
After all, the best revenge on your ex is really becoming a better version of yourself, for yourself.
PHASE TWO: REST & RELAXTION
Therapy. Retail therapy.
You finally decide to get up and start again. You start with the simple stuff–a warm shower, a minty mouth cleaning, a refreshing facial wash, and a quick check in the mirror. Beautiful, always. But today is different. Today is a celebration of yourself. Why not mark your rebirth with a radiant look or two?
You call up a few of your gal pals and ask if they’re free to go shopping–and they are! With no time to waste, you head out to reconstruct your wardrobe and your vanity.
PHASE THREE: DEPLOYMENT
I call it being proactive.
The afternoon passes by quickly, but you’re not ready to call it a day just yet. Someone suggests you go check out that new club and better yet, drinks are on her! Back to home you go to put on your LBD, a pair of classic black pumps, and a sultry look for your night out. You want to be ready for a possible encounter with public enemy number one–your ex, or worse yet, his new SO.
But then you realize something: He doesn’t matter now, and neither does she (or he, life has its surprises). You are not a stop on the road; you are a destination. The sweetest revenge is all about finding your happiness–a happiness that isn’t dependent on being part of a package deal. This is the kind of happiness that helps you shine brighter than you already do. All you need to do is help bring it out with a little blush, and a big smile.
Featured images by Alexis Pizza.